We’ve been in Rome for 10 days now. It’s awesome except for sometimes when its not. Last week everything was novel and inspiring. This week adjustment has felt like serious work. It has not been very graceful.
I’d like to pretend I’m tough, but I’m totally not. I’m probably one of the most sensitive people on Earth and, truthfully, it is a huge pain in the ass to be a sensitive person in this world. I have giant emotions. I have spent most of my life trying to manage these giant emotions. When my giant emotions are enthusiastic and happy this is fantastic for everyone! When my emotions are cloudy, all hell breaks loose. The last year they went from giant to unwieldy and I got about a million different kinds of support to stop being what I thought I was supposed to be and to start moving towards becoming my whole self. This included starting Table Fort.
I am not a good traveler, but I love to wander. I’m not a good public speaker, but I love to write and I love to listen to people. I’m not a good cook, but I love to gather people around a table and I’m damn good at washing dishes. I’ve given up apologizing for what I am not and am strengthening what I am. Its also good to practice being totally unrehearsed, unprepared, uncomfortable, scared to death and doing it anyways.
Pushing through fear is huge.
Sometimes you just need the right space, time and support to do it. To reflect on what you need or don’t need or to see how good you are and how much you have learned. You need space to breathe and think and create. Each of us is allowed to determine what works for us, personally, professionally, financially, creatively. You need to be able to rest if you need to, to get pumped up, to get organized, to get inspired. You get to create a world around you that works for you. If you find the world is lacking something you need, invent it. You are probably not the only person wishing for that thing. We are waiting for your unique strength to fill a void, to say the thing that needs to be said, to see it or feel it or make it in the way that only you can.
It’s scary as hell. Do it anyways.